You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
