We won't sleep together?
My liver just broke up with me...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
