its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
