What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
