made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
