I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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