Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
