I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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