Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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