is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
