Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Shame - the story of my life.
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