bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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