Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
