If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
