hotel room ftw
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
