Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
