Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
