Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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