I will die if light touches me.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
