things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
