you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
