He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize