she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
