She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
