Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
