the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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