I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
