He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
