Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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