She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
