i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
