everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
