Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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