he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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