everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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