did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
