New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
