Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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