shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
