So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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