I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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