Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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