Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
