He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
