Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner

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(812): View more from Indiana

Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I did the walk of shame to church this morning.

(734): View more from Michigan

hooker boots and all?

(313): View more from Michigan

Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea

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(254): View more from Texas

He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American

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(614): View more from Ohio

He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help

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(917): View more from New York City

I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat

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(440): View more from Ohio

Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'

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(940): View more from Texas

I DEMAND FORESKIN

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