CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
