You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
