There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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