Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
