I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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