Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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