shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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