i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize