I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
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