people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
