The maid of honor just puked.
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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