I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
