Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
