Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
