and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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