Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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