It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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