Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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