No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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